Christie’s accused of serving rodent to customers

By our Beijing culinary heritage reporter Yoo Nesco

Christie’s, the fashionable restaurant in Paris, has been accused of serving rat to wealthy customers, it was revealed this week. To make matters worse, the rat was said to have originated in China.

Visitors to the up-market Left Bank eaterie were appalled to discover Chinese rat on the menu.

“It’s disgusting,” said Delia Llama, a Tibetan TV chef. “The rat is a traditional part of Chinese culinary culture. To steal it like this is disgraceful.”

Jackie Qianlong, the famous Kung Fu film star, threatened reprisals, telling reporters, “Dawww! …Ayyyeee! Kerpow! Ayaaaah!” He and a hundred colleagues wearing red Buddhist robes then proceeded to glide gracefully though the air on wires while smashing up the restaurant with their bare hands.

“C’est rien. C’est une amuse-bouche,” muttered Christie’s Chief Executive Ed Dole-Queue, as he lounged in a $50 million Eileen Gray armchair, rubbing Yves Saint Laurent’s ‘Opium War’ perfume into his naked loins. “Vive la Récession!” he moaned.

Yoo Nesco