Art and antique dealers threatened by nasty men according to "huge dossier of evidence"

By our intimidation correspondent Ivor Libelsuit

Nasty people living somewhere else in the world have been sending nasty letters to British art and antique dealers, according to an extraordinary piece of investigative journalism carried out by a very nice man in London.

It is not known how many art and antique dealers may have been targeted by these nasty people, but it could be many millions, according to "a huge dossier of evidence" assembled by the very nice man in London. Many believe that the whole of humanity may have been affected by the letters, although it now seems that a solution to the problem has finally been found.

"if you just ignore these nasty letters, these nasty people just go away," said a very nice spokesman for one of the very nice art and antiques dealers who received one of the nasty letters.

"Phew, that was close," said one of the hundreds of millions of nice people affected. "I was nearly taken in by that very nasty letter and who knows what the implications might have been? It could have been the end of civilisation as we know it, or nothing at all, in fact probably the latter."

Antiques Trade Gazette is 103.