 Colonel Gaddafi's Desert Retreat by Sister Wendy Beckett, | Gaddafi art collection impounded as rebels close in on Tripoli
By our art war correspondent Orla Gauguin The private art collection of Colonel Muammar Gaddafi was seized this morning following a spectacular raid on the deposed Libyan dictator's compound in central Tripoli. The multi-million dollar collection embraces priceless works by some of the greatest painters in the world, including masterpieces by Thomas Kinkade, Rolf Harris, Jack Vettriano and Robert Lenciewicz, all amassed by the lunatic colonel during his 165-year dictatorship. In an operation some experts are comparing with the infamous Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist in 1990, rebels stormed the 200,000 square foot tented private gallery in the early hours of the morning after overpowering dozing security guards. Accompanying them on the raid were a number of 'Special Constables' recruited by the world renowned Art Loss Register who were on hand to advise on which pictures to seize. "It is an extraordinary moment in the history of civilisation," said Jolyan Darth-Vader, chairman of the Art Loss Register. Picking up a small gilt-framed canvas, he began to weep into the lapels of his tattered Savile Row pinstripe suit. "Just look at this exquisite still life of a cuppa soup and a jar of Ovaltine by Sister Wendy Beckett. It was given to the great Colonel by his Majesty Tony Blair during one of the former Prime Minister's state visits to the desert in the late 1990s. And behold this delightful portrait of the Colonel's desert hideaway. The brushstrokes, the compositional control, the startling realism, it is up there with the finest Old Masters." Asked what the painting would be worth on the open market, Mr Vader fell to his knees, beating his breast and gnashing his teeth. "Oh, I'd say at least $150 million, Insha'Allah," he wailed. "And our fee is a very reasonable twenty percent. So let it go," pleaded the ashen-faced art recoverer. "No! We will not let it go!" chanted the rabble to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody as they piled hundreds of Vettriano umbrella-wielding butlers and Kinkade cottages into the back of a waiting Humvee. At that point, Mr Vader was beaten to death with a copy of Maghreb Camping Weekly as the tent caught fire and the entire collection went up in flames. |
