Tracey Emin to be taught drawing at Royal Academy
By Artnose editor Percy Flarge
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Tracey Emin, the woman famous for having survived a childhood in the south coast town of Margate, has been sent to the Royal Academy of Arts to learn how to draw. She will not be released until she has mastered simple stick figures and basic pencil-sharpening skills, said Academy staff.
Ms Eminem, who was brought up in a tent along with several men, is said to be overjoyed at the opportunity to learn a new skill. She is already one of the world's leading suppliers of bedding and camping equipment but is said to have long craved an opportunity to break into the glamorous art world.
Mr Albrecht Dürer, professor of drawing at the Royal Academy declared himself "humbled by her natural talents," referring to her world-renowned reputation for sewing things onto tents.
Ms Ermine was chosen from thousands of keen applicants for the prestigious scholarship. "Drawing is now a moribund skill and Tracey is particularly bad at it, said Charles Samurai-Swordswallower, Chief Executive of the RA, "but by the time we've finished with her she will be truly crap, like everyone else who graduates from here."
Ms Emin's former landlady, Doris Saatchi, said "Tracey can't draw but she's a nice girl."
Not everyone was positive about the news. Former Royal Academy curator Roman Nosenthal told the Daily Mail, "Tracey's made her bed. Now she can lie in it."
